I am such a bad mom, or at least a bad bride's mom! Last weekend when I was totally free Kristen didn't even come home. This weekend she wants to go and look at more places for receptions and of course I am going to do it, but I would rather stay home and watch the Carolina women's basketball game. There aren't that many of the women's games that get televised, and this is a big one. They are playing against Maryland. This will be a tough physical game that, if it is anything like the last few times these two teams have been matched up has the possibility to get nasty. I am sure it will be very exciting. And coming off of a narrow loss to the #1 CT Huskies, I think Carolina is going to be out to prove themselves with some outstanding play. Well I am trying to be a good mom and go out looking with Kristen and DVR-ing the game, but inside I know I am a bad bride's mom who would rather be watching the game!
But maybe I can call myself a good mom since I AM going to go out looking with Kristen instead of staying home and watching it. I guess I just feel that a really good mom would WANT to go and look at these places, not just do it anyways. Why don't I want to go and look? Maybe because the majority of the places are going to be too expensive to really consider? Or because I disagree with Kristen's ideas about what is important about a wedding? Even though I really think it is a good thing that Kristen and Brad are not getting married for another year and half part of me wishes it was sooner than that so I wouldn't have all this wedding stuff going on for so long. I am so not an event kind of person! Let's face it - not only would I rather watch basketball than check out reception sites but I would also rather get my teeth cleaned, organize my closet, or pick fleas off the dog. But it is important to Kristen, and Kristen is my daughter so I am going to just suck it up and try to do it right. And you all out there who know me, please feel free to remind me that I said that, will you?
Saturday, January 26, 2008
Sunday, January 20, 2008
Bench Press, Anyone? part one
It has now been nearly 4 weeks since the big engagement. At this point I feel that nearly every aspect of the wedding has been discussed in some form or another. We have checked out a few places for a reception, we have considered the size of the guest list (probably unrealistically short) we have argued about where to have a ceremony, we have gotten some clues on places to get a good deal on wedding dresses, we have talked about rings, flowers, music, food, photos, colors, etc. But there is one thing that I have been carefully avoiding talking about, or even thinking about, but it has crept into the corner of my mind, then I push it out but it sticks to the edges. It seems that there is this expectation that I should at least consider losing a few pounds before the whole event is recorded for all of posterity on film or video or whatever the latest costly technology is. Not that Kristen has said a word, or John, or anyone else, not even my mother. If I am honest I guess I would have to say that this expectation is coming from somewhere in me. I don't know why. Does anyone really notice the bride's mother? I think this particular idea has come to me from 2 places. One is thinking about photographers and photos, because everytime I see myself in a photo I feel like I am looking at an imposter. I honestly don't feel like I look that big in a mirror. Never mind that the scale backs up the photographic evidence. The idea of being photographed standing next to teeny-tiny Kristen is frightening.
The other thing is that I know that I do not have the best eating or exercise habits. In the past the best way to control my weight has been by exercising. In college I used to run and exercise enough that I could eat whatever I wanted. In fact, when John and I went to one of those engaged encounter weekends we had to answer a question about what we admired most about each other, and John said he admired how much I could eat without gaining weight! But somewhere along the last 25 years I have lost my will to exercise enough. It makes me sad, really, because I used to really love to work out. Even after I had all 3 of my kids I used to go to the gym about 4 or 5 days a week, plus run, ski, and hike (and swim in the summer). I think a big part of it was that it was my main source of socializing during those years when I worked at home taking care of kids. There were years where a few of my friends and I all skied together in a program called "women on Wed." We would have a group lesson in the morning for a couple of hours and then after lunch just ski. This was at a newly reopened and relatively unknown ski area and was never crowded. We were free to yodel or do other goofy things and it was a blast. There were a couple of summers that John and I had a lot of fun playing in the park and rec tennis groups. And I remember actually looking forward to going to the aerobics classes at the one gym in town,the Fitness Depot (yes it was really next to a train station).
Three or four of my good friends and I used to go pretty regularly to some of the step classes, as well as using the stair-climbers and weights. We dubbed ourselves "moms of steel" and had a great time working out together. Sue was a single mom and very strong and tough and had a wicked sense of humor. Judy was an obsessive biker and cross country skier and was very slim. She was the only one of us whoever wore the thong leotard, insisting it was more comfortable because she had a flat butt. Mary was a hoot, who no matter what she was doing always had visable cleavage. On purpose. She actually bought a sports push-up bra - and wore it to work out in! The gym membership was small enough that there usually weren't more than 10 other people there at the same time we were there, so we could be loud and silly together. It could be literally 10 below zero and we would still be hopping out of our cars in our garishly bright leotards (after all it was the early 90's) in time for the early class. Two of us would be toting babies as well, still in their jammies. We used to really motivate each other to work out hard and then after showering in the locker room our arms would be so tired we could barely hang onto the blow driers. At one point the gym announced it was going to hold a bench press competition and advertise in surrounding town's gyms as well. I decided that it would be pretty cool to try that, and what the heck, I had 3 and a half weeks to work on benching, something I had been interested in but never tried because the state cops who worked out there were always hogging the bench. I decided one of my goals was to get good enough at the bench press that one of the guys would ask me to spot him. I had one friend, Barb, who was a physiology professor at the college there helping me out with different types of workouts. She was also entering the contest. We would work up to the heaviest weight we could bench, and then work down again with lighter weights, doing as many reps as we could at each weight. The hardest part was not laughing when Sue made faces at me while spotting me. One day one of the state troopers was working out and asked me to spot him on the bench! I was nervous about being able to spot the kind of weight he was lifting, but luckily I managed not to let it crush him. So the day of the contest the "moms of steel" were there to root for me and Barb. John was out of town, too bad because he was really excited about me being in that contest. I am not exactly sure what it was about me doing the bench press competition that got him so pumped, but he has always had a thing about women in action movies so maybe it had something to do with this being the closest he was going to get to one. Anyways, they weighed us all in and then put the heaviest half of the group in the heavyweights, and the lightest half of the group in lightweight division. I was the lightest one in the heavyweight group, and Barb was the heaviest one in the lightweights. The biggest woman in my group weighed about 45 pounds more than I did, and was from another gym. We each got to try 3 lifts. This is tricky, because once you try a weight you can't lift you can't try that weight or heavier anymore, so you want to start light, but not so heavy that you tire yourself out, or so light that it is not a winning weight if you can't lift heavier. The most I had ever lifted was 123. So I started with 120, then did 122, and then did 125 which was good enough to get second place, my first trophy ever! The biggest woman got first place. Barb, lifting 128 won the lightweight division.
That contest was the year before we moved here to Chapel Hill. I have had varying success in finding fun and social ways to work out. For a while I used to walk and run with my friend Debbie, and then there was a great group to play tennis with. Then I went and started working 5 days a week instead of 3 and lost that tennis connection. For a couple of years I did master swimming, which I really did love, but the timing of it, being in the evening was tough since it was the only time of day I ever saw my kids who were busy with sports themselves in the afternoon, so I tried swimming on my own. Walking/running with Lisa was great too, until I was sidelined with plantar faschitis. I know that it would help to have a goal, but most of all I wish I could do something that would involve the fun and playfulness that I had back in the days with the Moms of Steel.
The other thing is that I know that I do not have the best eating or exercise habits. In the past the best way to control my weight has been by exercising. In college I used to run and exercise enough that I could eat whatever I wanted. In fact, when John and I went to one of those engaged encounter weekends we had to answer a question about what we admired most about each other, and John said he admired how much I could eat without gaining weight! But somewhere along the last 25 years I have lost my will to exercise enough. It makes me sad, really, because I used to really love to work out. Even after I had all 3 of my kids I used to go to the gym about 4 or 5 days a week, plus run, ski, and hike (and swim in the summer). I think a big part of it was that it was my main source of socializing during those years when I worked at home taking care of kids. There were years where a few of my friends and I all skied together in a program called "women on Wed." We would have a group lesson in the morning for a couple of hours and then after lunch just ski. This was at a newly reopened and relatively unknown ski area and was never crowded. We were free to yodel or do other goofy things and it was a blast. There were a couple of summers that John and I had a lot of fun playing in the park and rec tennis groups. And I remember actually looking forward to going to the aerobics classes at the one gym in town,the Fitness Depot (yes it was really next to a train station).
Three or four of my good friends and I used to go pretty regularly to some of the step classes, as well as using the stair-climbers and weights. We dubbed ourselves "moms of steel" and had a great time working out together. Sue was a single mom and very strong and tough and had a wicked sense of humor. Judy was an obsessive biker and cross country skier and was very slim. She was the only one of us whoever wore the thong leotard, insisting it was more comfortable because she had a flat butt. Mary was a hoot, who no matter what she was doing always had visable cleavage. On purpose. She actually bought a sports push-up bra - and wore it to work out in! The gym membership was small enough that there usually weren't more than 10 other people there at the same time we were there, so we could be loud and silly together. It could be literally 10 below zero and we would still be hopping out of our cars in our garishly bright leotards (after all it was the early 90's) in time for the early class. Two of us would be toting babies as well, still in their jammies. We used to really motivate each other to work out hard and then after showering in the locker room our arms would be so tired we could barely hang onto the blow driers. At one point the gym announced it was going to hold a bench press competition and advertise in surrounding town's gyms as well. I decided that it would be pretty cool to try that, and what the heck, I had 3 and a half weeks to work on benching, something I had been interested in but never tried because the state cops who worked out there were always hogging the bench. I decided one of my goals was to get good enough at the bench press that one of the guys would ask me to spot him. I had one friend, Barb, who was a physiology professor at the college there helping me out with different types of workouts. She was also entering the contest. We would work up to the heaviest weight we could bench, and then work down again with lighter weights, doing as many reps as we could at each weight. The hardest part was not laughing when Sue made faces at me while spotting me. One day one of the state troopers was working out and asked me to spot him on the bench! I was nervous about being able to spot the kind of weight he was lifting, but luckily I managed not to let it crush him. So the day of the contest the "moms of steel" were there to root for me and Barb. John was out of town, too bad because he was really excited about me being in that contest. I am not exactly sure what it was about me doing the bench press competition that got him so pumped, but he has always had a thing about women in action movies so maybe it had something to do with this being the closest he was going to get to one. Anyways, they weighed us all in and then put the heaviest half of the group in the heavyweights, and the lightest half of the group in lightweight division. I was the lightest one in the heavyweight group, and Barb was the heaviest one in the lightweights. The biggest woman in my group weighed about 45 pounds more than I did, and was from another gym. We each got to try 3 lifts. This is tricky, because once you try a weight you can't lift you can't try that weight or heavier anymore, so you want to start light, but not so heavy that you tire yourself out, or so light that it is not a winning weight if you can't lift heavier. The most I had ever lifted was 123. So I started with 120, then did 122, and then did 125 which was good enough to get second place, my first trophy ever! The biggest woman got first place. Barb, lifting 128 won the lightweight division.
That contest was the year before we moved here to Chapel Hill. I have had varying success in finding fun and social ways to work out. For a while I used to walk and run with my friend Debbie, and then there was a great group to play tennis with. Then I went and started working 5 days a week instead of 3 and lost that tennis connection. For a couple of years I did master swimming, which I really did love, but the timing of it, being in the evening was tough since it was the only time of day I ever saw my kids who were busy with sports themselves in the afternoon, so I tried swimming on my own. Walking/running with Lisa was great too, until I was sidelined with plantar faschitis. I know that it would help to have a goal, but most of all I wish I could do something that would involve the fun and playfulness that I had back in the days with the Moms of Steel.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Reality begins to set in . . .
Somewhere in the back of my mind I have this little niggling thought that keeps poking at me, reminding me that my daughter is getting married. Not that I have forgotten. How could I with the sparkly cards set around my house proclaiming "You're Engaged!" "Congratulations!" How could I forget with a kitchen full of leftover cakes, cheeses, candy and other fattening foods leftover from the engagement party of Saturday night? How could I forget with everyone congratulating us, and saying "how exciting!" No, I haven't forgotten. But maybe on some level I am blocking it out. Yes it is wonderful news, wonderful that Kristen and Brad are so happy together. Wonderful that we have some time to plan a lovely wedding. But sometimes this whole thing feels like a bulldozer coming right at me and my life. I do not for a minute begrudge Kristen a joyful family supported engagement and wedding, but it is kind of like seeing yourself driving along on a trip, knowing pretty well where you are headed and how you will get there, and then all of a sudden there is a huge DETOUR sign that leads you off the highway with all kinds of crazy turns so you can't see the way ahead. Things are going to change. And I have a hard time with change. We have had this computer for over 8 months and I am still missing my old one. It took me 2 years to finally sell my van and get a different car. When my cell phone battery died after 4 years, and they said they didn't have a replacement battery available and I should buy a new phone I was actually tearing up at the Verizon booth! (I found a battery online - did not replace the phone.) I am still adjusting to moving here. Nearly 12 years ago. But change happens, and I will just need to get over it and get on with it. No doubt my husband will be reminding me of that frequently during the coming months. He is probably looking forward to some of the changes. No more paying bills for Kristen's schooling, car or cell phone. No more hearing her turning on the water to take a bath when it is nearly midnight. And the water pump is under our bedroom. No more of her complaining that our house is freezing and then turning up the thermostat to 76 degrees. No, I am sure he is looking forward to those things. But there are some changes that I am not looking forward to. I am afraid our lifestyle is going to have to change to accomodate the wedding Kristen has pictured. John has already signed up to work extra shifts at the hospital. I am wondering if will have to drastically shorten my trip to NH this summer so I can do something to earn money here. But working this summer might not be such a bad thing. It will help keep me from obsessing about how this will be the last summer that Kristen will live at home. It will be the last summer of having children in the house, and not just one child. The last summer of her stomping feet up the stairs when exasperated at me, and the last summer of buying her particular brand of cereal, type of bread, flavors of yogurt, fat percentage of milk, and special shampoos. To me, it will be the last summer of her childhood, and
even though she will be here physically, she will be leaving us mentally as she sweeps us all up the big plans for a wedding. To get married. And to leave us. To leave me. And I don't know if I will ever adjust to that change.
even though she will be here physically, she will be leaving us mentally as she sweeps us all up the big plans for a wedding. To get married. And to leave us. To leave me. And I don't know if I will ever adjust to that change.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
what about ME?
Well so far everything about this engagement seems to revolve around Kristen! I mean, I guess yeah, the bride is important, but come on, she wouldn't even be here without ME! I keep going back and comparing my own engagement with hers. There are so many parallels. Like her, I was still in school. Like her, we became officially engaged on a holiday (mine was Easter). Our engagement lasted for about a year and a half, just like hers. We were married in June, around Father's Day, which is the same time she hopes to have her wedding. Kristen will be 22 when she gets married, and I was 22 when I got married. Given all the similarities in our courtships you would expect that I would really be feeling totally in sync with this whole thing.
But there are some significant differences. I remember starting out feeling that John and I were in charge of our wedding decisions, setting dates, picking the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and it was all very fun and exciting. But at some point I started bumping heads with my mom over little things, and not so little things. I think it was when John and I were discussing the possibility of getting married somewhere on the Wellesley College campus, either in the chapel or by the lake, that my mom burst out with "I just wish one of my children would get married in our church" and since all my other siblings had been married either at home or outdoors she was obviously referring to me, at that moment it dawned on me that maybe this wedding had something to do with my mother. This point was hammered home in no uncertain tones when one evening John made a teasing remark about smushing the wedding cake in my face, and my mother hit the roof. "Don't you dare even think about it!" she ranted, "if that is what you plan to do the wedding is OFF!! That is just tacky!" Poor John was totally stunned by her outburst and even though he promised he was only teasing my mother kept up with the remarks about the wedding being off. It was then that I knew clearly that while the marriage might be John's and mine, clearly the wedding was for my mother. I then acquiesed to her plans, and took her advice on the flowers, the dress, the cake, the rehearsal dinner,the reception hall, the food, the music, and we were married in my parents church. And John did not smush the cake in my face. It was a very nice wedding, and not tacky at all.
Kristen has not yet figured out that the wedding is for me. She still thinks it is all about her and what she wants! Can you imagine? And since bursting out hollering "the wedding is OFF!!" is not my style, I am not sure she will ever figure it out. I may just have to let her take the lead and make most of these decisions herself and with Brad. Luckily she has very good taste and will not plan anything tacky. Although I probably ought to check with Brad just to make sure he is not planning to smush the cake her face.
But there are some significant differences. I remember starting out feeling that John and I were in charge of our wedding decisions, setting dates, picking the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and it was all very fun and exciting. But at some point I started bumping heads with my mom over little things, and not so little things. I think it was when John and I were discussing the possibility of getting married somewhere on the Wellesley College campus, either in the chapel or by the lake, that my mom burst out with "I just wish one of my children would get married in our church" and since all my other siblings had been married either at home or outdoors she was obviously referring to me, at that moment it dawned on me that maybe this wedding had something to do with my mother. This point was hammered home in no uncertain tones when one evening John made a teasing remark about smushing the wedding cake in my face, and my mother hit the roof. "Don't you dare even think about it!" she ranted, "if that is what you plan to do the wedding is OFF!! That is just tacky!" Poor John was totally stunned by her outburst and even though he promised he was only teasing my mother kept up with the remarks about the wedding being off. It was then that I knew clearly that while the marriage might be John's and mine, clearly the wedding was for my mother. I then acquiesed to her plans, and took her advice on the flowers, the dress, the cake, the rehearsal dinner,the reception hall, the food, the music, and we were married in my parents church. And John did not smush the cake in my face. It was a very nice wedding, and not tacky at all.
Kristen has not yet figured out that the wedding is for me. She still thinks it is all about her and what she wants! Can you imagine? And since bursting out hollering "the wedding is OFF!!" is not my style, I am not sure she will ever figure it out. I may just have to let her take the lead and make most of these decisions herself and with Brad. Luckily she has very good taste and will not plan anything tacky. Although I probably ought to check with Brad just to make sure he is not planning to smush the cake her face.
Monday, January 7, 2008
Time to Party! Atchcoo!
Last Friday we decided to host a little party to celebrate the engagement. Kristen is very excited about it and immediately began to plan a menu, guest list and decorations. It will be desserts, somewhere around 10 families and assorted single relatives, and the theme is High School Sweethearts (why does that phrase always make me think of the song Beauty School Dropout??). We agreed that the Christmas decorations needed to be put away before the house is cleaned on Friday to prep for the party. No problem, I thought, we have all this weekend and Kristen is very helpful and efficient at that sort of thing. Then the next day she declares that she is going away to the mountains with Brad's family and will be gone all weekend. OK, I guess I will be undecorating without her. I've done it before, I can do it again. Then I talked to my good friend and neighbor Lisa who called to RSVP while gently reminding me that the date of Kristen's party was also the date of her daughter Elle's birthday party. The party which I had agreed WEEKS ago to help out with. Well, Elle's party is in the afternoon and early evening, so I can help with that one and still manage to get everything together for Kristen's event too, right? After all, John will be there to hel - oh whoops, of course, he will be working that weekend! Then Kristen mentioned a few more families she really felt the need to invite, and now I have come down with a cold!
Still, I have faith it will all come together. John was kind enough to get all the boxes, crates and other storage containers out, and if I start to put stuff away hopefully others will help when they have a spare moment. Kristen and Caitlin are going to do much of the baking, I will help shop, the girls can decorate while I help with Elle's party, at least for a couple of hours until Lisa sees that the police officer she has hired has it all under control! No doubt Brad's mom, Ann, will show up ready to help as well. I have plenty of antihistamines, decongestants, and other assorted drugs to get my cold under control. It should be a snap, really. A breeze. At any rate, as long as my mind is occupied with preparing for this little party I can for a at least a while, forget that there is still a wedding to plan!
Still, I have faith it will all come together. John was kind enough to get all the boxes, crates and other storage containers out, and if I start to put stuff away hopefully others will help when they have a spare moment. Kristen and Caitlin are going to do much of the baking, I will help shop, the girls can decorate while I help with Elle's party, at least for a couple of hours until Lisa sees that the police officer she has hired has it all under control! No doubt Brad's mom, Ann, will show up ready to help as well. I have plenty of antihistamines, decongestants, and other assorted drugs to get my cold under control. It should be a snap, really. A breeze. At any rate, as long as my mind is occupied with preparing for this little party I can for a at least a while, forget that there is still a wedding to plan!
Saturday, January 5, 2008
brides mom begins!
What will the next year and a half bring? This blog will be the place where I record the adventures and mishaps (probably mostly mishaps, knowing me) of planning my daughter Kristen's wedding!
Kristen and her fiance, Brad, have been going together for over 4 years. High school sweethearts, they met when she was a Jr. and he a newly transferred Sr. Now she is a Jr. in college studying fashion merchandizing, and he is the "arborist" for an upscale retirement community, preparing to become a real estate agent.
He proposed on Christmas Day, the most popular day of the year for wedding proposals, a fact that I was unaware of until now, supposing Valentine's would be more obvious. But how clever! The engagement ring also counts as the Christmas present! Brad planned a wonderfully romantic setting and Kristen was totally surprised although she was the only one. We had kind of been seeing this coming for awhile. In fact, I distinctly remember heaving a huge sigh of relief when she didn't get a ring for her 18th birthday, so while they are still very young, we are glad they waited as long as they did to officially become engaged.
The next night I couldn't fall asleep for hours, realizing all the responsibilities and challenges that will be presenting themselves over the course of the next year and a half. First of all, Kristen is extremely aware of how things look, and wanting everything to be the best of the best. Second of all, as a preschool teacher married to a pharmacist we don't come close to being able to afford the best of the best. (I read that the cost for an average wedding in our city is 28,000 dollars!!! That is nearly double what I earn in a year!!! For an event that only lasts one day!!! Not to even mention that to me the wedding should be something personal and meaningful, not a show. Another challenge - Kristen has been attending church with Brad's family, yet refuses to be married either in that Baptist church - it is too small and shabby, or in our United Church which, while big, new and quite lovely she declares it to be "against everything I stand for". You begin to see some possibilities for conflict!
On top of that add a grandmother and an aunt that literally haven't spoken to each other for years, but both of which adore Kristen. Brad's family itself has its share of feuding relatives but I don't yet know how many of them might be involved in this wedding. Much to our agreement the bride and groom to be are planning to try to keep the wedding smallish, and in correlation to that, keep the wedding party small as well. Kristen had pretty much decided that her own sister and Brad's sister and her college roommate would be the bridesmaid. This was not without some consideration of her cousin's feelings, but it was decided that since she and said cousin are not nearly as close as the sisters and roommate are to Kristen that she would not be asked. Then another good friend of Kristen's announced that she better be a bridesmaid. Well Kristen has not really responded to that and hopefully she will get the hint. It would be nice if she could include all those girls but it would look kind of strange to have such a small wedding and such a large bridal party, especially since Brad is having enough trouble coming up with 3 men to stand up with him. Oh well, this is one of many things I will have to trust will work itself out hopefully with a minimum of hurt feelings.
Oh it could be a wonderful and exciting time, and I do look forward to spending lots of time with Kristen during the planning and preparation phase. I just hope we will still be speaking to each other by the end of it!
Kristen and her fiance, Brad, have been going together for over 4 years. High school sweethearts, they met when she was a Jr. and he a newly transferred Sr. Now she is a Jr. in college studying fashion merchandizing, and he is the "arborist" for an upscale retirement community, preparing to become a real estate agent.
He proposed on Christmas Day, the most popular day of the year for wedding proposals, a fact that I was unaware of until now, supposing Valentine's would be more obvious. But how clever! The engagement ring also counts as the Christmas present! Brad planned a wonderfully romantic setting and Kristen was totally surprised although she was the only one. We had kind of been seeing this coming for awhile. In fact, I distinctly remember heaving a huge sigh of relief when she didn't get a ring for her 18th birthday, so while they are still very young, we are glad they waited as long as they did to officially become engaged.
The next night I couldn't fall asleep for hours, realizing all the responsibilities and challenges that will be presenting themselves over the course of the next year and a half. First of all, Kristen is extremely aware of how things look, and wanting everything to be the best of the best. Second of all, as a preschool teacher married to a pharmacist we don't come close to being able to afford the best of the best. (I read that the cost for an average wedding in our city is 28,000 dollars!!! That is nearly double what I earn in a year!!! For an event that only lasts one day!!! Not to even mention that to me the wedding should be something personal and meaningful, not a show. Another challenge - Kristen has been attending church with Brad's family, yet refuses to be married either in that Baptist church - it is too small and shabby, or in our United Church which, while big, new and quite lovely she declares it to be "against everything I stand for". You begin to see some possibilities for conflict!
On top of that add a grandmother and an aunt that literally haven't spoken to each other for years, but both of which adore Kristen. Brad's family itself has its share of feuding relatives but I don't yet know how many of them might be involved in this wedding. Much to our agreement the bride and groom to be are planning to try to keep the wedding smallish, and in correlation to that, keep the wedding party small as well. Kristen had pretty much decided that her own sister and Brad's sister and her college roommate would be the bridesmaid. This was not without some consideration of her cousin's feelings, but it was decided that since she and said cousin are not nearly as close as the sisters and roommate are to Kristen that she would not be asked. Then another good friend of Kristen's announced that she better be a bridesmaid. Well Kristen has not really responded to that and hopefully she will get the hint. It would be nice if she could include all those girls but it would look kind of strange to have such a small wedding and such a large bridal party, especially since Brad is having enough trouble coming up with 3 men to stand up with him. Oh well, this is one of many things I will have to trust will work itself out hopefully with a minimum of hurt feelings.
Oh it could be a wonderful and exciting time, and I do look forward to spending lots of time with Kristen during the planning and preparation phase. I just hope we will still be speaking to each other by the end of it!
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