what about ME?

Well so far everything about this engagement seems to revolve around Kristen! I mean, I guess yeah, the bride is important, but come on, she wouldn't even be here without ME! I keep going back and comparing my own engagement with hers. There are so many parallels. Like her, I was still in school. Like her, we became officially engaged on a holiday (mine was Easter). Our engagement lasted for about a year and a half, just like hers. We were married in June, around Father's Day, which is the same time she hopes to have her wedding. Kristen will be 22 when she gets married, and I was 22 when I got married. Given all the similarities in our courtships you would expect that I would really be feeling totally in sync with this whole thing.
But there are some significant differences. I remember starting out feeling that John and I were in charge of our wedding decisions, setting dates, picking the bridesmaids and groomsmen, and it was all very fun and exciting. But at some point I started bumping heads with my mom over little things, and not so little things. I think it was when John and I were discussing the possibility of getting married somewhere on the Wellesley College campus, either in the chapel or by the lake, that my mom burst out with "I just wish one of my children would get married in our church" and since all my other siblings had been married either at home or outdoors she was obviously referring to me, at that moment it dawned on me that maybe this wedding had something to do with my mother. This point was hammered home in no uncertain tones when one evening John made a teasing remark about smushing the wedding cake in my face, and my mother hit the roof. "Don't you dare even think about it!" she ranted, "if that is what you plan to do the wedding is OFF!! That is just tacky!" Poor John was totally stunned by her outburst and even though he promised he was only teasing my mother kept up with the remarks about the wedding being off. It was then that I knew clearly that while the marriage might be John's and mine, clearly the wedding was for my mother. I then acquiesed to her plans, and took her advice on the flowers, the dress, the cake, the rehearsal dinner,the reception hall, the food, the music, and we were married in my parents church. And John did not smush the cake in my face. It was a very nice wedding, and not tacky at all.
Kristen has not yet figured out that the wedding is for me. She still thinks it is all about her and what she wants! Can you imagine? And since bursting out hollering "the wedding is OFF!!" is not my style, I am not sure she will ever figure it out. I may just have to let her take the lead and make most of these decisions herself and with Brad. Luckily she has very good taste and will not plan anything tacky. Although I probably ought to check with Brad just to make sure he is not planning to smush the cake her face.